The holidays can be overwhelming for everyone. More events on our calendars, large family gatherings, and the hustle and bustle of preparing for the season can be stressful. If you have a child with autism, all of these stressors can be intensified, but with some simple preparations, and evaluating what has worked in the past, you can find ways to prepare your children, reduce their stress levels, and help them find enjoyment in some of these moments.
First, let’s consider some of the reasons people with autism may experience challenges during the holidays. This time of year can bring changes in schedules and routines, unusual foods and smells, and shifts in eating and sleeping times. With seasonal holiday decor added into the mix, even our familiar environments physically change. There is also an influx of unfamiliar people, more togetherness, and sometimes, encounters with new people with unrealistic expectations.
Fortunately, there are some helpful strategies we can use to help children navigate this time of the year:
- Social Stories: By giving your child a short explanation about what is going to happen, this can help prepare them for social events or family gatherings. You can use tools like booklets or single-page documents that use simple language on your child’s level that can help them prepare for how to open presents or even say thank you. Read these stories to your child multiple times a week or even bring the stories to the event to use as gentle reminders during your time there.
- Visual Schedules: By creating a schedule for the day of the trip or event, your child knows what to expect. You can use an outline with visuals to help them better understand the plans, which is particularly helpful for children who like structure and routines. This can help them cope with surprises and lessen confusion and anxiety. A visual schedule can also be used to show your child which days are vacation days and when school will resume. Some families notice their child gets upset with changes made when decorating. A visual schedule can help prepare the child for when these changes will occur.
- Toys and Foods: Whether family is coming over or you are visiting someone else’s home, it’s good to have a variety of items on hand to help keep kids busy. Things like coloring sheets, activity books with mazes or word searches, or favorite toys can all help provide a sense of normalcy. Consider bringing a food you know your child will eat, packaged just for them or to share with the family.
- Visual Supports: Continue to use any visual supports that work for your family. Visual schedules and token boards are great, and if you follow a reinforcement schedule, ensure your child receives the same reinforcers they are accustomed to. You may even have to reinforce more frequently given the extra challenges of the season.
- School Vacation Time: Over the holidays, and any school vacation time, having unstructured days or changes in routine can be challenging for people with autism. Many families say that having a rhythm to vacation days is beneficial. Breakfast, free time, playground, lunch, etc. Having certain events repeat at the same time each day, paired with a visual schedule, can help structure the time and create some routine and predictability in the day, preventing challenging behaviors that arise from changes in routines
- Sensory Friendly Events: Look for movies, light shows, museum openings and Santa visits that are labeled “sensory friendly.” This means that lighting, sounds, and overall space will be altered with sensitivities in mind so that it’s a more pleasant experience.
- Gifts: Another good idea to help prep your child for gift-giving (and receiving) season is to make time to role play receiving, giving, and opening gifts. This is a good time to model how one would say thank you whether they liked the gift or not, and how to take turns when it comes time to open gifts.
- Quiet Areas: It’s a good idea to be aware of any behaviors your child tends to exhibit before a meltdown, also known as precursor behaviors. If you observe any, try to have an exit plan in place. If you’re close to home, you can take your child home earlier, but if you’re further away, there are other alternatives. Perhaps you can have pre-arranged locations where they can calm down, such as an empty quiet room, an outdoor area, or even the car. It can also be beneficial to have items that you know will sooth your child, like toys and activities.
- Preparing Family and Friends: Talk to visitors before the visit about what they can do to help set your child up for success. While some family and friends might already know your child well, there might be some holiday specific things to prime them for. Others may not have seen them in months or longer and will need more detailed information. Consider writing a letter or email or making some phone calls to let them know what your child’s preferences are, what upsets them, and what the day might look like for your child. It can be especially helpful for others to know what to do or not do when your child gets upset. If you would like support creating this information or having these conversations, talk to your BCBA or other support staff. We are here to help you.
Also, remember that as a caregiver, taking time to care for yourself is important in helping your family have a peaceful holiday season. Having another caregiver you can share responsibilities with, factoring in some alone time to decompress, and continuing to participate in the activities you love will help to reduce your holiday stress.
With preparation, you and your family can create new holiday memories and traditions that make your child with autism feel safe, comfortable, and secure. Please reach out to the MASC team if you would like support using any of the ideas above.
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